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GREAT MEMORIES

GREAT MEMORIES

We are so pleased to publish this memory of Belle Plaine written by Nancy Wright.

GOING TO TOWN ON SATURDAY NIGHT

A memorable part of a farm kid’s life in the 40’s and 50’s was Saturday night – going to town.  It was usually the only night we went – sometimes Wednesday – and then only in the warm months.  This is what I recall.

Saturday afternoon was spent “getting ready”.  Mom put my curls up on tin curlers – her own in pin curls.  Dad got the eggs safely packed in the wooden case with gray paper dividers between the rows, as well as all the cream collected in the tall cans.  Mom was sure our clothes were starched and ironed.  We also took the tub for ice with a blanket for a cover to keep the ice from melting on the trip home.  We took a shopping list (usually called a tag, written on the back of an old calendar sheet) and our big market basket to take home the groceries.  When the car was loaded, we “took off for town”.

 

When I got older, they took me to town in the afternoon and I could go to the show.  It cost .10 for admission, .10 for popcorn and .05 for a Halloway sucker.  We saw National Velvet, the Three Stooges or Hoppalong Cassidy or Abbot and Costello and laughed and laughed at Ma and Pa Kettle.

 

We wanted to come early “to get a good place to park” usually in front of Klink’s Drug Store.  After depositing the cream and eggs at Bradshaw’s or Frazel’s, we would check out the parking places.  Our evening sometimes included supper at the Commercial Café in the west block of Main Street.  When I was little, they took my folding doll buggy and some dolls for me to push around (so people told me later they remember me with the buggy).  Then the “parade” started.  We walked from the Commercial east – on the North side – past the old lady who sat on the sidewalk on hot nights (she lived above the Oasis at the first landing before Dr. Williams’ office), past an old man dressed in white who called himself Jesus (his real name was Ashby something) on the corner by the artesian drinking fountain.

 

Sometimes the bank wagon (a sort of a stage on wheels with steps and a roof) was pulled on the corner.  People sat on the steps to Kurth’s Studio or across the street (maybe to Joe Dolak’s office or above the Kozy Korner) to listen.  City Hall was up several steps on top of the fire station.  I think it was high school kids – I think it was polka music when we went to Luzerne or Chelsea.  Groups would be together talking a foreign language.  A Mr. Kantor had a cloth bag full of “Watchtower” papers and would try to sell you one from the Jehova Witness.  Dad usually went to Thurm Ealy’s barber shop or across the street to Curt Ealy’s when needed.

 

Sometimes we stopped in at Ditzlers and ALWAYS at Clear’s.  They had peanuts roasting (we got Spanish – they were the most for the money) and a couple kinds of candy in white sacks.  The candy counter was U shaped – with glass dividers between the kinds.  Each department had a cash register so you bought something and paid for it and then moved on.  Sections that held hair pins, safety pins, hair nets, embroidery thread, etc. were pieces of glass of varying lengths held together with metal clips to make the appropriate division for the particular item.  Suitcases (as if anyone had a need for them), rugs, a few house dresses and aprons were in the back.

 

They sold “Blue Waltz” perfume in a heart-shaped bottle, finger nail polish with a plastic nail painted the color, eye brow pencils, hair dye, Evening in Paris in the blue bottle,
Clark and O’Henry Bars, Baby Ruth, Cherry Mash, Walnettos, Chuckles.

 

At Easter, they had live colored chickens for sale, green Easter grass, egg shaped candies in bright colors and yellow Peeps candy chickens.  You could buy a billfold with a picture of a pretty girl in it, a rabbit’s foot (usually dyed some color) for good luck, comic books, sun glasses, dishes, Vicks, Noxema, Smith Brother’s cough drops – both cherry and licorice, elastic, Life-Buoy Soap, Camay, Cashmere Bouquet soap and talc, Toni home perms, Williams shaving soap, pure bristle shaving brush and mug, Luster Cream Shampoo, Old Spice and Brute, soap on a rope, Necco Wafers, Ipana tooth paste, Dentyne, Teaberry, Chicoletts, Clove, Beeman’s, Pepsin and Black Jack gum, Mallo Cups, horehound candy, little wax pop bottles with sweet colored syrup inside, Halloween masks, red paraffin lips and white fang teeth for your Halloween costume, orange circus peanut candy, aluminum ice cube trays, leather key cases with little hooks and that folded flat and had a snap, Halloween taffy in black and orange papers with peanut butter in the middle, black hair nets that grandmas wore, black coin purses with two pockets that ALL grandpas and grandmas carried, red and white figured men’s handkerchiefs (for farm work use), shoe strings, Phel’s Naptha bar soap, Tangee lipstick and rouge, face powder and powder puffs, moth balls, moth ball candy that was a big white round with a hazel nut inside, Pond’s cold cream, birthday cake candles and little hard frosting flowers that held the candles, Valentines, enamel cookware, water bucket dipper – anything you might need.

 

What a wonderful place for a kid.  At Christmas, they opened the basement and we waited to go to “Toyland”.  We went down some wooden steps (the adults had to duck their head) made a turn and ran into the basement wall, and then left.  What a wonderland.  It was musty smelling and felt cold and damp.  We could pick out the toys we wanted Santa to bring.  I don’t know if they even sold toys the rest of the year.  I can’t remember.  If there was a birthday party, we usually took a hankie, coloring book, crayolas, jig saw puzzle or Little Golden Book, or a book like “Five Little Peppers” or ‘Little Women” or “Five Cousins” or “Little Men” or the “Bobsey Twins” as a gift.  If it was a little kid, you could buy a big thick book of 365 Bedtime Stories (one for every night before bed).  Can you close your eyes and remember?  Do you remember Ditzlers and the smell and how they turned the lights off and on, and Wilbur locking the door and “Hi Kid” and Wilbur taking the money bag to the bank?

 

Then across the street to Woodwards where Mr. Moeller was manager (we called the business people Mr. or Mrs.).  There we bought “everyday” clothes, and yard goods for sewing.  If we needed women’s “good clothes” we went to Mrs. Connor’s.  She had stools where you sat down and she fitted the gloves.   The hose were behind the counter in flat cardboard boxes, and the clerk stretched the top over her hand to show the color.  Hankies were carefully folded and put in a flat white box that somehow folded into a squared and hooked together to close.  Dad went to Miller’s – a men’s store.  They had a pressed tin ceiling and “Choppy” Nichols was there.  I loved the little boy Buddy Lee doll with overalls and a farmer’s cap that was in the window, so my dad bought it for me.

 

We probably took one more walk around – stopped and look at the jewelry at Feddersons and stopped at Strawhorn’s Hardware.  Then sometimes we sat in the car and “people watched”.  If people knew you, you would roll down the window and talk, or sometimes the women would get in your car and sit and talk a while.

 

By now, we – like almost everyone else – went to Klink’s for ice cream.  They had little round tables and wire chairs in the back of the store.  Just inside the door was a lovely marble counter backed by a huge mirror.  It had three spigots for Coke, fuzzy water and plain water.  A “Group” was one dip of ice cream in a Coke glass with chocolate sauce and a skinny spoon.  You could get a two dip Sundae in a tall tulip shaped glass or a banana spit in a long glass dish.  Some men got a “Bromo” – an early Alka Seltzer type machine that came with a blue bottle inverted and a turn thing to let some into the glass.  Then water was added and served with an extra Coke glass so he could mix it one to another.  A Green River was some lime syrup with fizz.  A lemon phosphate was the same – lemon and fizz.  You could get Cokes in two sizes – cherry, lemon and fresh lemon (when they squeezed a piece of raw lemon in the Coke and plopped it in the glass).  Some young kids got Coke with a squirt of chocolate syrup (chocolate Coke).  There was enough caffeine to keep a kid going the rest of the night!  Crushed ice came out of the fountain somewhere.  The round black lids came off the ice cream places.  Straws were in a tall glass thing with a chrome lid (it didn’t bother us they were not individually wrapped or someone might touch one).  When lifted, they fanned out and you could select one or two.  The Coke was sweet and strong and SO good.  You could buy a pint of “hand packed” ice cream to take home – but we usually got our “take home” at Mrs. Malls Iowa café.

 

Dr. Newland was usually having a Coke at the end of the counter.  He wore fancy clothes (to us) like brown and white Spectator Shoes and a tan summer hat with a printed hat band, and a light linen suit.   Nobody we knew dressed like that.  Either they wore their navy blue suit for “good” or overalls, or “wash pants and a plaid shirt” or suit jacket.  To come to town, the women sometimes wore a hat, but usually a “new wash dress or print dress” or an older formerly “good dress”.  When we look back on school pictures of that time, the people in the gym were “dressed up” for the band concert or class play.  All the men wore suits, and held a hat.  The women all had hats and usually a gabardine suit.  Nothing like the people dress now.  Clothes were either ”good” or “everyday” or ”print dress or house dress or play clothes or chore clothes or Sunday clothes”.

 

There were always people to visit with.  Young men drove around and around to wave at girls.  Teens walked hoping to “run into” someone they would flirt with.  Main street was two way then.  At graduation time, the drug store (Nichols and Herjek) had all the senior pictures in the front window.  If you needed to write a check, there were pads from the various banks and you just wrote it out.  No account number or ID needed.  Pencil was fine, too.  You would just make it out to CASH and get the money.

 

But we still have business to do.  Sometimes we stopped at Iverson’s – it was right between Clears and Ditzlers.  Usually we stopped at Larry and Ann Jackson’s Store by the Cornbelt.  I think it was called “Cash and Carry”.  Larry took care of the meat.  Sometimes we went to Jimmy Donolak’s Meat Market to get the hot dogs.  They were home made and the best.  We usually had our own meat so we didn’t buy much.  We made sausage and smoked hams.  So, usually we just bought hot dogs and cheese or ring bologna.  Larry would slice off a hunk of cheese with a big knife, weight it on a huge scale with a glass top, reach up and roll off some brown paper and pull down (from somewhere up high) string off of a huge spool, just enough string to tie up the package.  We always saved this string in an old small oatmeal box, called the string can.  The women would tell the clerk what she wanted and the clerk would gather it from behind the counter, writing the price on an empty place on a big sheet of brown paper on the counter to later add and get the total.  The same sheet was used until it was full.  Candy was in a glass case in the center.  I remember the big red coffee grinder, too.  But we had our own grinder and Grandma said it stayed fresh longer “in the bean”.

 

Coffee was a big thing in our lives.  A granite coffee boiler was kept on the back of the cob cook stove, always ready for friends, or when the men came into the house.  Thick cream and sugar were always added.  The richest cream was kept in a special yellow pitcher and used usually only for coffee.  Then “lighter cream” was kept in the brown pitcher for cereal, fruit, etc.  If we had a crowd, egg coffee was made.  Aunt Helen had a big white with red trim granite coffee boiler.  She would measure so many teaspoons of coffee (always one for the pot, too) into a bowl, add a raw egg and some water.  Then when the water was boiling, in would go the whole lot and it would foam and then settle to the bottom.  That was good coffee!!!  Sometimes they used a coffee bag – a piece of old white dish towel that had a casing for a drawstring sewn in the top to make a bag.  Coffee was put in that it was submerged into the boiling water – like a giant a giant tea bag.  We had tea for supper – sometimes green and sometimes black.  We had tea leaves, and they were put in a silver egg shaped tea basket or caddy with holes all over and the top screwed off and o n to put the tea inside.  A chain hung over the top of the pot.  Tea came in tin cams – yellow or green – A & P Brand (Atlantic – Pacific).  It was always made in a pot and poured, into your cup.

 

Now we had our groceries, it was time to get the cream and egg money – that gave us spending money.  They tested both and would pay on the “grade” of the products.  We took our can and egg cases home to start over again.  We usually looked at the feed sacks to pick what print we would want next time.

 

The last stop was the icehouse by the railroad tracks by the coal bins across from the Legion Hall.   We had a 5 gallon galvanized tub in the trunk of the car.  With tongs, someone got the ice for us.  It was covered with an old blanket.  Sometimes we went to our locker and got corn or strawberries or meat we had “put up” earlier.  You had it sharp frozen and then they put it in your locker.  It was numbered and had a key.  When we got home we put the ice in the ice box.  There was a hole drilled in the kitchen floor for the melting water to drip out.   Ours was a newer white enamel kind – my Aunt Florence had a big oak wooden one.    We did not get electricity until 1948.

 

When TV came into our lives, Sankot and Wiese had their store on the corner by the water fountain.  They would run the TV (black and white) facing the street and people would stand on the street and watch through the window.  Sometimes all there was to see was the test pattern.  How the world has changed.  It did not take much to amuse us then!  Some of the old expressions now seem like another language.

 

And so back home from our Saturday night trip to await another Saturday night.  Then it was church on Sunday, washing on Monday, ironing onTuesday, and so on.  And thus the cycle started again.  This is the way I remember it – our Belle Plaine and going to town on Saturday night.

 

It was an era of peaceful, safe and wonderful times.  It was truly like “Leave it to Beaver” and “Father Knows Best” days.  We did not worry much about anything – flu shots, hand sanitizer, air conditioning, drinking out of the creek or tile or the water bucket, did not use sunscreen, ear plugs or seat belts.  We rode our bike up and down the gravel hills, slid down steep hills on our sleds, went without shoes, and most of us farm kids had a pony, we drove tractors and played in the haymow, chased big old roosters, went in the barn around big horses and cows.  We had roller skates on cement with no helmet or elbow pads.  We sat on the porch in the summer and played with paper dolls or jacks.  We wore boots in the mud and snow, big heavy winter coats, big heavy headscarves, big heavy mufflers around our face and nose.  All the girls at Longfellow wore long brown cotton stocking and in really cold weather, slacks under our dresses for recess.  We never wore slacks during class in the school.  We went to1st grade with Mrs. Beverly Hadenfeldt as our teacher in a small room that was partitioned off from the kindergarten room.  They used a paper board like bulletin board material with no outside entrance.  In 4th grade with Ester Grieder, we were upstairs two flights of old wooden steps.  We ate in the basement (I think the mothers brought home canned food sometimes) and took our bank lessons back in the furnace room.  We did not worry.  It was a wonderful time in our lives.

 

You may remember differently  This is what I recall.  I hope you lived in this wonderful time, too.  And perhaps you grew up here and call Belle Plaine your hometown, too.

 

Nancy Wright Belle Plaine, Iowa  Formerly from Honey Creek Twp. In IA. County April, 2011

 

I’m sure a lot of you have some pretty great memories too!  Anybody who would like to write about their fond memories of Belle Plaine, please let us know.

For me, a “new” resident of Belle Plaine, I’ve lived here just 9 years, it is great to hear about the busy downtown area.  I can look out the windows of the BPCDC office and visualize what it must have been like.  I am ever hopeful that Belle Plaine’s downtown area will be that great once again having all of the buildings occupied:  shoppers walking up and down the sidewalks, visiting with neighbors and friends, stopping in to the stores, going home feeling such a sense of kinship with our fellow residents.  Perhaps having one special night a week where the downtown area is the place to be.  Taking some time away from our busy lives to touch base with those around us.  I think it sounds pretty special.

I truly believe that our downtown revitalization efforts are going to pay off in a big way and maybe we can get some of those 1950s feeling back. With fuel prices being what they are, we need to find a way to entertain ourselves right here in Belle Plaine.  This town has so much to offer already and look at the great things to come!  Belle Plaine’s downtown area will be the destination for all.

Kim Blink

 

 

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Jeff Brown’s Column

Master of None

By

Jeff Brown

“There is something in sickness that breaks down the pride of manhood.” - Charles Dickens

“All I want is to be regular again. Please, please, please.” - Jeff Brown

 

 

What I did on my Spring Vacation

 

There’s hardly anything worse than sitting in an examination room waiting for test results. Well, okay, there’s getting the actual test. It involved a needle the size of… well, okay; I have to admit I don’t know how big it was because I was busy looking in the other direction. I never watch when I’m getting blood drawn because I might pass out. For the sake of this conversation, let’s just say the needle was larger than average.

This is it, I thought, the big one. I wondered how many more days, perhaps hours, I had left before I kicked the proverbial bucket. When the doctor came back into the room, I braced my miserable, stuffed up, achy self for the worst.

“The blood work shows it’s viral,” he said, flipping through some papers. “I think you have influenza. Did you get a flu shot?”

I looked at my feet. “Uh, no.”

“You might think about getting one next year,” he said matter-of-factly. “They work.”

I remembered exactly what I told my wife last fall when she asked me if I was planning to get one. I said, “Why would I willingly get a shot when I’m not sick? Besides, lying around the house for a few days, even if I’m sick, sounds like a vacation to me.”

Now those words (yes, those stupid words) were coming back to haunt me. According to my doctor, I was heading for an eight to ten day vacation that I had to take all by myself because there weren’t any antibiotics that could go along with me for the ride. (Apparently, antibiotics won’t work on viruses- a likely story.) He told me to rest, drink plenty of fluids, and take Tylenol and Advil products for the discomfort.

Special note to the makers of NyQuil: I don’t want to complain, but you guys need to create a night-time sniffling sneezing coughing aching stuffy head fever so I can rest and poop after taking this for several days in a row medicine.

I spent Friday through Monday feeling miserable, but I have to admit it was nice lying around the house sleeping and watching TV. By Tuesday morning, however, I was feeling better and I had cabin fever. Then, the afternoon came. In a wave of cold-sweaty unpleasantness, I developed a fever. It was 102 degrees by 6:00 PM, and I was stuffy and coughing and not feeling the least bit guilty for taking up space on the couch again.

Wednesday was, well…I don’t really remember much about Wednesday. It’s all a fevered blur of coughing, blowing my nose, smearing Vicks VapoRub on my nose (and inside), then immediately coughing, blowing, and reapplying the Vicks.

Interesting fact: Getting Vicks in your eye because you unexpectedly coughed while applying it won’t kill you. You feel like you want to die, but it doesn’t actually happen.

Another interesting fact: It clearly states on the label that Vicks “is for external use only; avoid contact with eyes.” It also says “Do not use in nostrils.” Needless to say, my wife took my jar of Vicks away from me.

I was back at the doctor’s office Thursday morning. He listened to my heart and lungs. Then he looked down my throat, in my ears, and up my nose. “You’re packed full,” he said.

“Tell me something I don’t know, Doc.”

“You have a secondary infection. You were probably getting over the flu on Tuesday- that’s why you were feeling better- but now you have sinusitis and bronchitis.” He sat down at his computer and began typing. “I’m prescribing you an antibiotic. You should be feeling better by Sunday.” When he stood up, he shook my hand and reminded me to get a flu shot later this year.

Before I knew it, I found myself back at home on the couch reading my medication guide. Here is the actual side effects list:

  • Feel dizzy
  • Seizures
  • Hear voices, see things, or sense things that are not there (hallucinations)
  • Feel restless
  • Tremors
  • Feel anxious or nervous
  • Confusion
  • Depression
  • Trouble sleeping
  • Nightmares
  • Feel more suspicious (paranoia)
  • Suicidal thoughts or act

I couldn’t believe it. I had several symptoms just by reading the warning. (This list doesn’t even include the scary stuff about tendon ruptures and allergic reactions.)

As I finish writing this column, it’s been two weeks since I started feeling sick. I think it’s a miracle I survived. I survived the flu, I survived sinusitis, I survived bronchitis, and I survived the medication that saved me. I’m still coughing way too much, but I’m finally beginning to feel normal. In a few days, when I’m back to my regular work schedule, I wonder if I’ll look back nostalgically at my two-week vacation, huddling under the blankets with my remote control.

If I do, I’m still getting a flu shot.

 

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Master of None

Master of None

Master of None

By

Jeff Brown

“Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway.” – Author Unknown

“Avoid lactose, pull the cables, look like Gerard.” – Jeff Brown

A Protein Shake with an Oblique Twist

So, I turned 41 recently. After all those birthdays, I suppose you could say I’m a survival expert. “Always trying not to get killed” is my motto along with “not taking wooden nickels” and, in fact, I’m so good at avoiding death and injury that I think I should have my own TV show titled, Jeff vs. Wild. The completely original series would feature me parachuting into inhospitable areas, such as public restrooms, and showing viewers how to survive, like flushing toilets with my foot.

My wife bought me a piece of exercise equipment for my birthday called the Weider 5000. It’s comprised of a system of cables and pulleys that conjure images of medieval torture devices. I’m not really sure where the “5000″ comes from in the name, but I’m praying that there weren’t 4,999 previous models that were somehow defective and caused their users to lose a finger or a cranium.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my present, but I sometimes wonder if she bought it for me, or if she bought it for herself- if you know what I mean. If you don’t know what I mean, I think she wants me to develop my pecks and abs to the point that when I take my shirt off, I Iook like Gerard Butler, the guy from the movie 300. I don’t see why this is so important because I hardly ever take my shirt off in public. (Only when I get into fights, and I’m trying to cut back because my physique more resembles Niles from the TV show Fraiser than it does the slightly tougher Gerard.)

My Weider 5000 came with an exercise chart that I’ve hung on my wall. I often find myself squinting at it from across the room, lying flat on my Weider (okay, that sounded weird) trying to figure out how to best develop my pecks, just as soon as I figure out where my pecks are. (I know they’re around here somewhere.) The chart illustrates precisely how to perform all sorts of complicated exercises. They have funky names like the butterfly, kneeling kickback, hip abduction (I think this is when aliens give you liposuction surgery in the middle of the night), groin stretch (I’m skipping that one), oblique twist, and, finally, the cranium crunch (I bumped my head when I was straining to see the chart.)

This morning I saw a commercial for another piece of exercise equipment called the “Resistance Chair.” It should be re-named “The Path of Least Resistance Resistance Chair” because the ad features people sitting on the chair (on their butts, to be precise) watching TV. Apparently, whenever the mood strikes, they pull on a cable. (I think it’s attached to a bell that informs a servant to bring them a bag of Cheetos.)

Interesting Fact: If you happen to doze off on your Path of Least Resistance Resistance Chair, have no fears. A sensor will activate an emergency backup system that will finish your workout for you.

Fortunately for my health, and my wife’s desire for me to bulk up, I’m a little more serious about getting into shape than the folks in that commercial. I won’t buy a piece of furniture unless it has a beverage holder built into it. Being a fitness expert, (it goes hand in hand with being a survival expert) I know how important diet is to my health. I need to eat healthy foods and drink weight-gaining shakes to properly develop the muscles in the well-oiled machine that is my body. Okay, I didn’t literally mean that my body is well oiled. I was speaking metaphorically.

Unfortunately for me, I’m lactose intolerant. This means those thick, protein-laden shakes can cause me to lose more weight than I gain- if you know what I mean. If you don’t know what I mean, it’s probably best that it stays that way. According to my doctor, I’m not only lactose intolerant, I’m extremely lactose intolerant. Being a hypochondriac and frequent sufferer of the “man-cold,” (scientifically proven to be much more severe than the common cold women get) the adverb “extremely” is not lost on me. Nowadays, just being in the vicinity of a cow causes me gastronomical distress.

What does all this mean? It means that I’ve had to completely eliminate cow’s milk from my diet. My advancing age has forced me to replace it with almond milk, which seems odd because I didn’t even know almonds had udders. (I guess I can’t be an expert at everything.) Despite this setback, with the help of my new diet and exercise equipment, my life should be getting bigger (literally) and better than ever. My enthusiasm level is more developed than Gerard’s abs.

I just realized I can watch TV lying flat on my Weider.

 

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RENEW  REUSE  RECYCLE  REDUCE!

RENEW REUSE RECYCLE REDUCE!

 

RENEW REUSE RECYCLE REDUCE!

by Ginger Shafer–and Waste Management

Every Tuesday when I assemble my trash and recycle items, I wonder if I’m doing it right.  I don’t want to be embarrassed and see my stuff left at the curb!  All cities and states are NOT the same so I went out to get Greened in Iowa!  Here’s what I learned, thanks to Waste Management:

 

ACCEPTABLE ITEMS

PAPER PRODUCTS

Newspapers with supplements, magazines, catalogs (can I put my 5” thick Austin phone book in?).

Corrugated Cardboard and Chipboard – cut to 2’ by 2’, flattened (now that requires some stomping!) – brown or gray (on the inside) when torn, including cereal, cracker and tissue boxes, toilet paper and paper towel cores.

Mixed paper – white or colored, NCR, FAX, photocopy, legal pad, note and computer paper, post-its, call slips, file folders, envelopes, junk mail (I thought no one would want JUNK MAIL!) , and Kraft bags.

METALS

All metal food and beverage containers, aluminum foil and pie plates (clean pet food containers—whee!).

PLASTICS

All plastic containers #1-#7; milk, water and juice jugs, detergent, soda and pop bottles and film canisters are acceptable.

NO PLASTIC BAGS!

GLASS BOTTLES

Please keep your glass bottles separate from the other recyclables.

 

UNACCEPTABLE ITEMS (place these items in the trash)

PAPER

No food contaminated containers (sorry, no pizza boxes!).  No WAXED filmed covered containers (no microwave dinner plates?)No hygiene products (toilet paper, paper towels, etc.).

No disposable diapers.

METALS

No large metals, coat hangers, engine parts, etc.

PLASTICS

No packaging container inserts, even with numbers.  Example: cookie tray.s

No Styrofoam, plastic bags, or motor oil bottles.

No caps, lids or hangers.

No plastic greenhouse or plant containers.

No deli or grocery plastic food containers, even with a number.

 

ABSOLUTE NO-NOs:

Batteries, engine oil, lubricants, antifreeze, other types of oils and/or filters; paint still in liquid form (mix it with cat litter); needles,, syringes, medical waste; propane and/or empty propane tanks; tires; appliances; refrigerants.

 

 

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Was That a Bat?

Was That a Bat?

I’ve changed the name of my column and website since I don’t work in a factory anymore.  The new column is called “Master of None.”  The website is www.jeffmasterofnone.com.

I’ve included a link to BPNOW on my Favorite Links Page.

I hope you like the new column!

Jeff Brown

jbinbp@mchsi.com

 

Master of None

By

Jeff Brown

“The art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” – Henry Ellis

“The art of living lies in a fine mingling of knowing which tools to let go of and holding on to the right roof trusses.” – Jeff Brown

 

Was That a Bat?

When you’re lying flat on your stomach in the dark with a dust mask strapped your face, it kind of puts things in perspective. I could literally die up here, I thought, and nobody would find my body. My breath was hot and the air that escaped around the edges kept fogging up my glasses. I gagged.

Helpful Home Improvement Hint: If you know you’re going to be wearing a dust mask at some point in your day, be sure not to skip brushing your teeth that morning.

I slipped off my mask to clear my glasses, but I immediately began coughing in the dirty air. I must have looked like an asthmatic Olympic swimmer, doing the doggy paddle in a sea of lumpy, gray insulation. Then I bumped my head on nail that was sticking out from the wall.

Now, I’d like to take a brief time out from this column to apologize to my neighbors if they heard me at that particular moment. I don’t want to repeat the exact wording I used, but it was highlighted by a wide variety of expletives, including the following punctuation marks: $>?~#&*^!. The yelling and flailing (and more yelling) fogged up my glasses up even more. Looking back, I realistically doubt that anybody heard me. There weren’t any doors or windows or air holes for the sound waves to travel through. When you’re in my attic, nobody can hear you scream.

What my attic really needs is an emergency exit like they have on jumbo jets.

Imagine this…

You’re walking past my house when you hear an explosion. Spinning sideways, you’re shocked to see part of the roof blow off and a huge inflatable slide shoot out the gaping hole. A few seconds later, I come careening down it headfirst and land right in front of you. I get up, dust myself off, and exclaim, “I thought I saw a bat!”

Oh, how I long for one of those nice attics I sometimes see on the Home and Garden network. It almost makes we want to puke when I see a TV show featuring someone who finds a long lost treasure tucked away in a steamer trunk up there. The only thing I ever came down from my attic with was a rash. Yeah, I think I’m more likely to appear on 1000 Ways to Die than Cash in the Attic.

In one of my all-time favorite episodes of the Brady Bunch, oldest son, Greg, actually moved into the attic when he outgrew his old bedroom. Or- wait a second- maybe he moved into the downstairs den. I’m not sure anymore. (I do remember lots of 70’s era beads.) Anyhow, my point is that no one would ever want to move into my attic. It’s one of the most unpleasant places on earth, rivaling Ilha de Queimada Grande. (Look it up.)

The only reason I ever go up there is to perform some sort of dreaded home improvement project. On this particular day, I had to re-route an electrical wire for a light switch I was moving. There’s no solid floor to stand on, so I have to climb around on the wooden roof trusses like they’re a giant jungle gym. If I was to misstep, I’d certainly fall through the downstairs ceiling and get entangled in one of the ceiling fans, spinning around like some sort of weird flannel clad piñata. But, instead of spilling candy, I’d be flinging bits of dirty gray insulation everywhere.

The insulation is the worst part of the attic. It’s the blown in type, so it coats the bottom like a deep layer of ugly snow. I’ve accidentally dropped tools in the vile stuff, never to see them again. Over the years, I’ve gradually come to terms with the fact that my missing tools are a necessary sacrifice to the home-improvement gods.

Just climbing my rickety stepladder to get up there is a chore. And, of course, there’s no such thing as a project where I could go up one time and come down one time. Oh, no, that would be completely ridiculous. Why, the whole idea of an easy home improvement project involving the attic is quite humorous to me. Ha, ha, ha. Here’s a more realistic scenario:

    1. Climb the ladder with my tool belt stuffed with every tool I think I’ll need.
    2. Climb down and gather the tools I actually need.
    3. Climb up and make the proper sacrifice to the gods (including the ritual expletive chant and arm-flailing dance).
    4. Climb down. Drive to hardware store for more tools. Drive home.
    5. Climb up and discover my flashlight batteries are going dead. Consider burning house down.
    6. Climb down and watch re-runs on TV.

Special Brady Note: In the last episode of season four, “A Room at the Top,” Greg does, indeed, move into the attic.

I hope he remembered to brush his teeth.

 

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Production Lines

Production Lines

Production Lines

by

Jeff M. Brown

“Boxing is just show business with blood.” - Bruno Frank

“Housework is just boxing with dog poop.” - Jeff Brown

Down and Out

Announcer: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the main event. In the red corner, sporting a Dirt Devil vacuum cleaner and roll of paper towels is Jeff “Steamin’ Mad at Dirt” Brown. In the blue corner, weighing 24 pounds and completely covered with white fur, is his wife’s dog, the American Eskimo “I’m too Old to Have Control Over My Intestinal Track” Traveler.

(The bell rings.)

Traveler: (Wanders into the living room.)

Jeff: (Turns off vacuum.) Do you need to go outside, boy? (Picks Traveler up and takes him out.)

Announcer: Jeff is off to an explosive start. He took Traveler completely by surprise with his fancy footwork. Traveler is in for a tough fight.

Jeff: Stay here until you’ve done your business.

Traveler: Where am I?

Jeff: Don’t come to the door until you’re done. Do you hear me?

Traveler: There’s that mumbling again. What the- how did I get outside?

Announcer: Although it’s still early, Jeff appears to be dominating the match. Traveler isn’t keeping up with all of Jeff’s bobbing and weaving. He’d better wake up soon or he risks going down.

Traveler: I have to get back inside. Where’s the house? (Turns around and paces in the yard.)

Jeff: (Watching Traveler from the window.) Good grief, that dog takes forever to do nothing. I have work to do. (Resumes vacuuming.)

Announcer: It looks like Jeff has backed off. I’m not sure what Jeff’s strategy is, but this might be Traveler’s chance to get back in the fight.

Traveler: (Bumps into the front step.) That’s what I’m looking for. (He climbs up the step and scratches at the front door.)

Jeff: (Shuts vacuum off and hears a faint scraping.) Oh, yeah, I almost forgot about the dumb dog. (Opens the door.)

Traveler: (Races back into the house and poops on the carpet.)

Announcer: I can’t believe this folks! In an amazing turn of events, Traveler counter-punched Jeff and he’s down on the canvas.

Referee: (Standing over Jeff.) One…Two…Three…

Announcer: Jeff’s getting up, but he’s clearly dazed by that powerful blow.

Jeff: You stupid, stupid, dog! Why didn’t you poop outside? (Grabs Traveler and carries him back out the door.)

Announcer: They’re in a clinch, but the referee ordered them to break.

Jeff: (Sets the dog down in the grass and lightly swats him on the butt.) Stay out here and think about what you did! (Goes back inside.)

Announcer: Uh-oh, Jeff got warned for hitting Traveler below the belt.

Traveler: What the- how did I get back outside?

Jeff: (Tears off half a roll of paper towels and carefully picks up the turds.) That dog makes me so mad. I’ll show him who’s the boss. (Grabs a leash and goes back outside. He hooks Traveler’s collar.)

Announcer: Jeff certainly has roared back to life in this barnburner. Traveler is on the ropes!

Jeff: (Tugs on the leash.) Let’s go for a walk, Traveler.

Traveler: Hold on, big guy, I have to pee first.

Jeff: Not on the sidewalk!

Traveler: (Stands in the puddle for a moment, then walks back and forth through it.)

Announcer: Traveler is raining down a powerful combination of punches on Jeff. There’s a left jab followed by a right hook. Jeff’s taking a beating, but somehow holding on.

Jeff: I can’t believe you, dog. Come on dummy, let’s go back inside. (Unhooks the leash.)

Traveler: I’m hungry. It’s time for a treat. (Runs to the kitchen and begins barking by the pantry.)

Jeff: (Following Traveler.) No way, dog, you’re not getting any treats from me. You’ve been a bad boy.

Traveler: I need a tasty treat. (Wanders out of the kitchen and down the hall.)

Jeff: (Begins cleaning the dishes.) I swear all that dog is good for is making messes. (Hears a loud thud from the other room.) Oh, no.

Announcer: Traveler has turned out to be a real brawler in this fight. Jeff’s speed and agility are no match for this dog’s raw power.

Jeff: (Drops a dish and runs down the hall with his hands dripping.) Oh, no!

Announcer: Kaboom! Traveler creamed Jeff’s jaw with a right hook. It looks like Jeff is going down again.

Traveler: Here’s my yummy snack. (He grabs a treat with his teeth and drops it on the carpet.)

Jeff: Get out of the cat’s litter box you numskull!

Announcer: Jeff has kissed the canvass!

Referee: One…Two…Three…

Traveler: (Stumbles and spills litter everywhere.)

Referee: Four…Five…Six…

Jeff: (Drops to his knees.) Why? (He looks at the ceiling and throws his hands in the air.) Why?

Announcer: I don’t think Jeff is getting up.

Referee: Seven…Eight…Nine…Ten.

(Bell Rings.)

Announcer: There you have it folks. Jeff is down and out and Traveler is the new champion of the house.

Traveler: Where am I?

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Production Lines

Production Lines

Production Lines

by

Jeff M. Brown

“Until one has loved an animal, a part of one’s soul remains unawakened.” - Anatole France

“I’m awake.” - Jeff Brown

Jessica’s Cat

Daughter: Are you my pookie wookie? Are you my kitty witty? I wuv you kitty.

Father: (Overcome with nausea.) Oh good grief, Jessica, will you put that kitten down and stop the baby talk?

Daughter: I love my kitty. (Holds fuzz ball up to her cheek.) He loves me too.

Father: We’ve only had the cat for an hour. It doesn’t even have a name yet.

Daughter: Yes he does. I named him “Waterfall.”

Father: Did he pee on the carpet?

Daughter: No, of course not.

Father: Then why did you name him Waterfall?

Daughter: I think it’s a beautiful name. (Jessi cradled the cat in her arms and nuzzled it with her nose.)

Waterfall definitely was Jessica’s cat, and I’m sure he knew it. Nobody call me a “cat person.” I’m not a dog person. I’m not a fish person. I’m not a hamster, snake, weasel, or hairless rat guy either. When it comes down to the cold hard truth, I have to admit that I’m not very crazy about animals, especially when it comes to them living in my house. I believe humans first created the “indoors” so they wouldn’t have to be exposed to the dangerous creatures (and their poo) that live outside.

My first inkling that the cat might be (how shall I put this?) difficult to live with happened when I got home from work one evening. Scattered on the kitchen floor were little black pieces of rubber. I didn’t know where they came from until I cleaned the supper dishes. It seemed my 12-year-old’s new kitten had ripped the garbage disposal rubber out of the sink.

For the next eight years it was just the three of us living in the same little house. Even though Waterfall had a tendency to get on my nerves, (he’d wake me up every night with a hearty “MEEOWWWRRR,” although he was “fixed,” he sprayed the carpet regularly, and the coffee table seemed to be his favorite place to throw up) he kind of grew on me. For instance, I enjoyed taking him outside in the evening during the summer months. I’d drink a beer. He’d eat some grass. This is how we spent quality “guy time” together.

Waterfall was still Jessi’s cat, though. He followed her around, slept on her bed, and chewed on her Barbie doll’s head. Things went along pretty well until last spring when I was going to do some laundry. I was shocked to find Waterfall sitting inside the washing machine. “What are you doing in there?” I asked as I picked him up. Then I noticed he lost some weight, so I took him to the veterinarian.

Doctor: I have some bad news. His blood work shows that his kidneys and liver are failing.

Jeff: What’s wrong with him?

Doctor: His symptoms are consistent with a virus cats can get at his age.

Jeff: Is there anything we can do?

Doctor: The virus, I’m afraid, is untreatable.

Jessica and I did treat him, though. We showered him with attention and, since he seemed to feel more secure in the washing machine, we put out a smorgasbord of food on top of the clothes dryer. Our laundry area was transformed into a four star restaurant for our sick kitty. The menu included his regular food, two kinds of soft cat food, and tuna. All in all, I think I spent more money on cat food than I did on people food. To our amazement, Waterfall rallied and got better.

Months went by. When Jessica and her fiance rented a house last summer, Waterfall went with her. I admit that I missed him, (I swore for weeks that I could hear the bell that he wore on his collar) but Waterfall was happier than ever living with Jessica. That’s where he belonged.

Shortly before Thanksgiving, Jessica mentioned Waterfall was hanging out in her washing machine. That’s not good, I thought. We took him back to the vet and got more bad news. His kidneys were indeed failing. Determined to nurse him back to health again, we re-opened the restaurant/laundry room at Jessica’s house. This time, however, Waterfall didn’t rally. Days and then weeks went by without him eating until he was just skin and bones. It got so bad that we were afraid he’d break when we picked him up.

One gray, blustery, December morning I showed up at Jessica’s house. My daughter and I took a few pictures of our nine-year-old kitty and drove him to the vet. Euthanizing Waterfall was one of the hardest decisions we’d ever made. Over the years, Waterfall cost me a lot of money and a lot of sleep. He tested my patience almost daily with his eccentric antics, but I loved that cat, and I told him so as I watched the light go out in his eyes.

Yeah, Waterfall was difficult to live with, but I miss him every day. Goodbye old friend.

Posted in OpinionComments (1)

DUST IF YOU MUST: Author Unknown

DUST IF YOU MUST: Author Unknown

by Kim Blink

A dear friend of mine gave me a copy of this article because she knew how much I would appreciate it.  The author is unknown but definitely seems to be talking to me.

Take time and smell the dust LADIES!!!

Remember…a layer of dust protects the wood beneath it.

A house becomes a home when you can write “I love you” on the furniture.

I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect-in case someone came over.  Finally, I realized one day that no-one came over; they were all out living life and having fun!

NOW, when people visit, I don’t have to explain the “condition” of my home. They are more interested in hearing about the things  I’ve been doing while I was away living life and having fun.  If you haven’t figured this out yet, please heed this advice.

Dust if you must…But wouldn’t it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, bake cookies or a cake and lick the spoon or plant a seed.

Ponder the difference between want and need?

Dust if you must, but there’s not much time…With wine to drink, rivers to swim and mountains to climb, music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish and life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world’s out there with the sun in your eyes, the wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain. This day will not come around again.

Dust if you must, but bear in mind life is too short to spend dusting.  Life is too short to not take time and notice what is important to us…family & friends!

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Ramblings – Why I miss the BP School Board

Ramblings – Why I miss the BP School Board

by Jeff Orvis

Boy oh boy! I’m gone just over two months and what had been a relatively calm and routine part of my job of covering the Belle Plaine Board of Education suddenly becomes what might qualify as the news story of the year!

Two of the five members of the board have resigned. One replacement has been appointed and the board is seeking candidates for the other position.

In over 35 years of covering school boards, the only thing certain is that every board has its own personality. Each board has its own way of working with its superintendent, depending on that superintendent’s experience and strengths and the board’s confidence in him or her.

I believe that the best board is one that is representive of the community. A strong board will have at least one retired educator serving on it, but it’s wise that the majority of members not be former educators. A strong board should have a representative of the business community, but not a majority of business people who don’t have children in the schools. A strong board should also have at least one parent of children currently in the district, but should not be made up entirely of parents of children in the district.

The board that served while I was living in Belle Plaine covered all of these traits. It included two local business people, two retired educators and one other professional who has children in the district.

This board has done some great things. In hiring Bill Lynch as the BP superintendent, it found a guy who is very gifted in many aspects of school administration. He showed the district how it could maintain its identity while sharing programs and some educators with neighboring HLV. He also showed the community how it could afford a number of wonderful school improvements during these tough economic times.

Jim Pierce and Don McKinney have both decided to resign from the board. Both of them were valuable members of the board, offering their own insights on many matters from their years of professional experience. In his letter of resignation, McKinney expressed some frustration with the amount of power the local board has in determining how the school district is operated. Although Pierce did not indicate a reason for his resignation in his letter, he had clashed with the architect during the building project on several problems uncovered during the process.

The three remaining members of the board will continue to have important decisions to make in the coming months. They made their first wise decision on Friday when they appointed Brad Cook to fill one of the vacancies. I’ll admit I’m biased, since Brad was instrumental in getting Belle Plaine Now up and running. I valued our working relationship, even when he showed he could be a demanding boss. He was very supportive and encouraging, but let you know when you fell short of expectations.

He is a good businessman, as well as a father of kids in the schools. He loves this town and this school district and it shows by the interest he’s shown in supporting many activities in the schools.

Losing 40 percent of a board can lead to a period of upheaval. But this board and superintendent has proved time and again that it has the qualties needed to lead the district in the years to come. Belle Plaine is truly fortunate to have the quality of people willing to serve on its school board. When you see a board member on the street, in the store or at a school function, it wouldn’t hurt to thank them for their tireless service. And some of that thanks should also go to Don and Jim for all they did while serving on the board.

I loved my time working Belle Plaine. As I seek my next challenge, I know whatever it is, it will have to be something really special to top the experiences I had on many beats, especially the school board beat.

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Helping Belle Plaine Succeed

Helping Belle Plaine Succeed

by Kim Blink

I wanted to take the opportunity to share some of what I have learned while volunteering in the Belle Plaine Development office these last few months.

The streetscape and façade projects that are on the way would not be happening if not for the hard work of a lot of people.  The hours spent on becoming a Main Street Iowa Community were MANY.  The vision of some very insightful people will benefit all who live in Belle Plaine if we embrace the changes as they come.

I am concerned that I have been hearing some grumbling from some of our citizens about the letter that was sent out to all Belle Plaine residents making them aware that Belle Plaine Community Development would like donations, and these people feel that with all the money coming into our town from grants and other sources that it was not necessary to send out the letters. I think sometimes it is human nature to think negatively about change, I certainly am guilty of it, but what is happening to our town is so exciting that I just can’t be negative about any of it (even the soon-to-come torn up downtown area).  There are great changes in store for Belle Plaine, and I see them as a good thing.

I would like to mention that when grant money is received, it is not transferable among projects or available for anything but what the grant was written for.  So, even though we are receiving funds for the city, it is for very specific projects and the money MUST be used in the stipulated manner.

Belle Plaine Community Development Corporation is a not-for-profit organization and all donations are tax deductable. The fundraising letters that the citizens of Belle Plaine received are for operating cost associated with the Community Development Corporation.  The corporation does not receive grant money for this and counts on donations alone for its continued operation.

The hiring of a Community Development Director within the last few years was a necessary step in obtaining the Main Street Iowa Grant.  The Community Development Director is the only paid person in Belle Plaine’s organization.  The committees that have been established to conform to the expectations of the Corporation, as well as the Board of Directors, are all volunteers.  To give you an idea of how your donation would benefit the town, I first want to mention the director’s job description so that people will be aware of the importance of the director and the Development Company to the town and residents.

The Director’s job is an important one.  She is expected to keep everybody working together and to have information at her fingertips.  Organization is a must with what the town has in store for the future.   Managing the administrative aspects of community revitalization, developing and conducting on-going public awareness and educational programs, assisting individual tenants or property owners with physical improvement projects, developing and maintaining systems to track progress of the Main Street program, coordinating the activities of the four Main Street Committees, anticipating emerging and long-term challenges and opportunities, coordinating all approved special events (Easter Egg Hunt, Forth of July Celebration, Trunk or Treat, business Poker Runs, Christmas Weekend, etc.), representing Belle Plaine locally and regionally, taking responsibility for the Belle Plaine Now online web site as well as coordinating all other media and community relations to keep the community apprised of the BP Community Development Corp., and many other things that I’m sure I’m not aware of, are all part of her job description.  Without the one paid person in the Corporation to act as the “lynch-pin”, I’m afraid chaos would ensue.

The Corporation is very frugal with the funds that are donated as they have to stretch them far.  Donations are used for the administrative operation of the corporation as well as any special events the town may have, and of course, our director’s salary.  Great things are happening because of the people who donate their time, knowledge, and/or money!

In closing, I would like to mention that the letters were sent out to let all of our citizens be a part of the great changes that are happening if they so choose and to let them know that there is a need for their monetary donations.  The Corporation appreciates any size of donation, and if any Belle Plaine citizen would like to give some of their time to be a volunteer, that would be great.  The letters were never meant to insult or anger anyone; they are an opportunity to be part of the revitalization efforts and to make people aware of the need.  Without the letter, a vast majority of people may assume that the Belle Plaine Development Corporation is financed by city taxes or grants and that is not the case.

I feel very honored to be part of the Main Street improvement project and wouldn’t miss it for the world.

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